Sunday, December 7, 2008

More stuff.

So big news in my life is that I finally finished my pink camo scarf yesterday. Very excited about that. First full knitting project I have finished since I knitted that scarf a few years back of D. Fall semester is coming to a close. Last fall semester as a undergrad. Which I'm really happy and sacred shit less about. This means in May I will be a college grad and have to be a grown up. I also have two more years of grad school to look forward too. I know it will be worth it once I have the masters. But I just feel like I have been in school forever and a day. Also depresses me a little that I will be 25 when I'm finally done with school. SO if I find the right guy now. Then I should be able to get married by the time I'm done with grad school. How sad is that. My graduation and my wedding are two things I look forward to in life the most right now. I guess I just want that fairy tale ending like everyone else.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Argh

So yeah its been forever since I have posted here but I suddenly felt the need to post again. I hate the world at the moment. One of my best friends looks have gotten dumped by a update on her face book status but yet she won't talk to me about it or answer when I call her. Only one of my true friends is actually talking to me at the moment. I got told by a random dude from craigslist that he felt no physical attraction. Even though he was the one who messaged me in the first place, hes a fat pig anyway. I just sent him my pictures in hopes hes was nice guy anyway. So I'm cyber stalking my ex D again cause I can't get him out of my mind as of late, and I wonder if hes just a lonely as I am at the moment. And he has been hanging out with my ex best friends alot as well which really grinds my gears. Also the two guys I have slept with and attempted a relationships with have stopped talking to me all together. God damn what do I have to do to find a decent man in this town. I'm also hating all the kids in my classes who don't come to class but yet still get higher grades on tests then me. Argh. My older sister and niece just visited, I'm so freaking jealous of her. Shes short fat and frumpy, yet she is married to the love of her life and has a child. GOD DAMN IT. Hope tomorrow is better.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Life

Have you ever not known what you want out of life. Because I have no idea. Do I want love money fame? I'm in such a slump right now. Like I'm suppose to be working on this independent study for art right now and I just can't get inspired. Since I was little I thought being a artist was what I wanted to do with my life. Now I'm no so sure. I hate having no gumption. I feel like thats the way my life has bin the last couple of weeks. just nothing. I go to class come home, go on the computer and sleep. Thats it. I feel stupid and slow all the time. Like I just can't wrap my brain around who I am anymore. My life has changed so much over the last three months. I'm single after not being for two and half years. I finally have the freedom I want in my artwork and i can't seem to do anything about it. Blah.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sleep

I'm really starting to think sleep is over rated. For the last hour and a half I've bin trying to sleep in my bed upstairs. Its just not happening. The second my head hits that pillow all the what ifs of my life come rushing back to me. Like what if i was still now with my ex right? What if i had not said that stupid thing in Latin class today? What if I was thinner and prettier? What if I was more like my sisters? What if I had gone to school somewhere far away?

I hate this. I'm fucking falling asleep in classes today but when it comes time to sleep nothing. Bah my life is crap.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The dollar store.

Another love for mine the Dollar store. One of the happiest places on earth i must say. More likely so if you are a poor college student such as my self. You name it you can but it at the dollar store. everything from shampoo to greeting cards. I was just there this morning.

I bought the greatest valentines day stuff. For my four best friends every. Being single makes this takes the pressure off this very very over commercialized holiday. I'm not saying I never enjoyed the gifts and perks of being in a relationship on this holiday. I plan to make overly silly cards for my friends and send them to them at school. Also with a silly holiday treat inside. Gotta love it. Thats all for now. Cheers till later. Pinky

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My little sister.

So yeah heres the first rant about my little sister. She is 18 years old and a college sophomore . She got to skip a a semester because she did so many AP credits in high school. So in theory shes a very bright person. Sometimes I wonder though. Like just yesterday she had problem with her college classes for this semester that started to day. So one of her classes was canceled due to lack of enrollment. So she went on a rant to her adviser about how the school was crap in not contacting her about it. Turns out she did not know the school provided her with a e-mail. I attend the same school and told her this. So basically she made herself look like a ass in front of the professor and adviser. Does is it make me a bad person to be happy about that?

You have to understand my little sister is the youngest and yet gets away with fucking everything. Like for example if she does not wanna call a place of business to get information, my mom will do it for her. They spend 600 dollars a month supporting her horses, who by they way they payed 10 thousand dollars for each. Also we own a truck and horse trailer just so she can take these horses to shows and spend more of their money. Let me also mention that we talk about horses all the time at my house. And if I god forbid I bring up or start obsessing about my turtle or something. I get told to get over it and ignored. Note I'm not saying I'm not spoiled, but god. I pay for my own cell phone, car, computer, pets and hobbies. Where she only pays for the gas that goes in her car.

Another thing that bothers me about her is her ability to do no school work and still get straight As. I bust my hump for the B's and sometimes Cs I get. My older sister is the same way. Thats another reason I feel so out of place sometimes with them. Did I also mention they are clones of each other. Both are 5'2" and have dark shoulder length hair. They also act the same, I think thats part of the reason they can't stand each other sometimes. Guess thats all for now. Cheers till later. Pinky.

Monday, January 21, 2008

American Gladiator

One of the best shows ever. Personally I think it was a very good move on NBCs part. Amist the writers strike. Bring back a show that they know people will watch, and no writers to depend on. Not to undermined the writers or anything. I believe what their striking about is the right thing to do. But I hope they come back soon. I miss my new CSI episodes.

Anywhoo watching average american Joes take on the gladiators really makes my day. I used to watch the original show in the eighty's. Thank fully the costumes have evolved over the years from the awful red white and blue to sliver and black mainly. Although less and less costume fabric seems to be involved. Seemingly the men have lost fabric and the women have gained it. Considering two of the men, TOA and MILITIA are wearing costumes equal too skirt and booty-shorts. MILITIA is rumored to be a porn star before AG, so may be its not such a big deal to him. So do I dare to ask if this is the idea of the creators to gear the show towards more women then men. Gotta wonder. Seems possible to me since one of the main reasons i watch football is to see fit men with tight buns run around in skin tight spandex.

HELGA is my favorite by far. Shes big and proud of it like me. I love it. Cause the original gladiators where fit but thin women basically running around in bras and panties. She wears a black uni-suit with a cute sliver skirt over it. I like the way she wears he hair in braided pigtails. As for the men TITAN has that very cave man sorta appeal to it. Large muscular thighs and large square jaw. Brings out the cave women in all of us. Well thats all for now. Cheers till later.
Pinky.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

EBAY

I love eBay. It is the greatest invention since sliced bread. I sold 4 video games on it and made eight-four dollars. Now I'm selling lots of random stuff my parents have had in the basement for years. I love it.

It's also a great place to but stuff for cheap as well. Rings, tank filters, clothes and shoes. Shoes are one of my greatest passion. I own so many. Flats, sneakers, sandals, crocs and boots. I wanna get a pair of knee high boots to wear with my skirts as well. But thats a whole other thing.

I love just looking at all the weird shit people sell on eBay too. Its crazy stuff. Check it out some time. Go to eBay and click categories and click totally bizarre. Mystery auctions are also lots of fun. I spend way to much money on random stuff on eBay. Thankfully it helps me pay off my debts. Thats all for now. Cheers till later, Pinky

Thursday, January 17, 2008

She works hard for the money

So I work in a special education office in the school district my father is superintendent of. I work there over the summer every year since I graduated from high school. So almost four years now. Recently over my winter break I have bin working there as well.


My job there is basically office grunt. I make copies, file stuff help out with summer school. One of the problems I run into is I do the work they assign me too fast. So basically I get alot of reading done. Like today for example I finished two book in the course of my 8-3 work day. Freakin sweet basically they pay me 8.50 and hour to read and do occasionally work. Lets me catch up on my Stephen King and Nora Roberts novels.

When I do do work its cruddy jobs. Like yesterday I stamped about 1500 envelopes with the office address stamps. And the week before that I made 750 copies of this 23 page double sided packet. So to end this crazy post, office work sucks and i'm so gald I will never work in one when i get older. Cheers till later, Pinky

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Real Women Have Curves

I'm a big girl. Curvy, and big boned as you say. Runs in the family. Guess it does not help that I'm also the tallest female in my family. I'm 5'7" there for I'm almost as tall as my dad, 3 inches taller then my mom and 5 inches taller then my two sisters. I'm also a middle child so I stick out like a sore thumb. But anyway I've always bin proud of who I am and my own body. When I rowed in high school I gained the name Tank since I was the biggest girl on the team.

This got me thinking are some men afraid of tall and larger women? My first boyfriend seemed a little afraid of me. And he was 6'5" . Before that the boys I had crushes on seemed a little turned off my my size and independence. One boy only saw me as his personal driver, since I happened to pick him up on my way to school. But thats another tale for another time. My most recent ex was only 5'8". But he told me he likes strong women. Yet he got nervous at the two and half year mark and bailed.

Recently I have lost about 10 to 15 pounds. Mind you I'll never be little little cause i truly am big boned. So it got me to thinking about nude pictures. Me and my ex took some over the summer before we both started school up again. First off i wonder if he still has them and still looks at them. I took a very sexy one wearing his stethoscope around my neck. Very hot as you can imagine. I mean I know what i look like naked in the mirror now, but I wonder if i took the photos today how would they looks.

Thats all for now kids. Cheers until next time. Pinky

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Stuff

I'm in a really weird place in my life right now. I broke up with my boyfriend of two and half years about two months . I'm still in love with him and want him back. He wants to figure out what love is before he starts another relationship. But I think he still has feelings for me. I still about him alot and miss him a ton. Ok now that thats out of the way lets talk about me.

I live in upstate NY, in Albany. I'm a full time student, undergrad. At SUNY Albany. I'm majoring in art and art history. I also plan to go there for grad school as well information sciences.

I sorta sometimes wish my life was like a fanfiction. In fanfiction hot guys and girls just hook up with each otheron random. True love reins supreme, no matter where you come from or who you are. I have written some of these myself. Harry/Draco, Sirius/Remus, and Northstar/Iceman. So mainly Harry Potter and X-men. Some of it is hardcore others are just fluffy. Been a few years since I wrote one. I have a sick obsession with reading other peoples works online though. More newly Naruto , and Final Fantasy themed one.

I promise my next post will be better. I'm kinda out of it today but just wanted to post something to get going.

Cheers, Pinky

Monday, January 14, 2008

First Post

Hello every one just a random posting to get this started. My names Pinky and this is my collection of random thoughts, and rants. Not much in the first post but more to come my friends. Cheers till later, Pinky